Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 3)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Shopping

The “Consumer Report” on the item will come out a week after you’ve made your purchase.
Corollaries: 1. The one you bought will be rated “unacceptable.”. 2. The one you almost bought will be rated “best buy.”

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

writer
Activities People Shopping Women

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry.

American author
Activities Shopping

I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms;' and he said, 'Just a minute,' and I said, 'Oh, that's my brand.'

American comedian & actor
Sex Shopping Situations

Men can say things in stores women can't believe like, "but I already have a pair of black pants.”

(1952 – ) comedian
Men People Shopping Speech Women

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping

The label "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" means the price went up.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things