Subject: Activities » Sleep

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life Situations Sleep

He slept more than any other president… Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Situations Sleep

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Animals Conflict Situations Sleep

I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Sleep

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Sleep Yogi-isms

If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Animals Sleep

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Situations Sleep

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Excuse me, my leg has gone to sleep; do you mind if I join it?

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Situations Sleep

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws Sleep

Ironic how you can’t get kids out of their beds in the morning but you can’t get them into their beds at night.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Children Family Situations Sleep

Sleep is the best of both worlds: you get to be alive and unconscious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Situations Sleep

Don't worry, I'm merely catching up with sleep.

Epitaphs Situations Sleep

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

I make no bones about it; I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Sleep

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.

(1879 – 1949) Irish writer
Activities Sleep

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.

comedian
Situations Sleep

You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

Activities Proverbs Sleep

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work