Subject: Activities » Travel

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Murphy’s Laws Places Travel

Sometimes the road is less traveled for a reason.

Activities Proverbs Travel

1. The last gas station for 50 miles will be closed when you get there. 2. At the moment of any departure, the level of gas in your tank depends entirely on how late you are. 3. You only run out of gas after your wife tells you to stop for gas before you run out.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Travel

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

American comedian & motivational speaker
Children Dating Family Men People Travel Women

Whatever carrousel you stand by, your baggage will come in on another one.

Murphy’s Laws Travel

I hate traveling, I guess ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Conflict Family Fathers Travel

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Activities Travel Yogi-isms

The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

My wife and I can never agree on holidays… I want to fly to exotic places and stay in five-star hotels… and she wants to come with me.

comedian
Activities Travel

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.

Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

It’s easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Activities People Travel

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

It always takes longer to get there than to get back.

Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.

Activities Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Travel

When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics: Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? … The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities Government Politics Travel

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

1. You can get “anywhere” in ten minutes if you go fast enough.
2. Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
3. The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
4. This lane ends in 500 feet.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Activities Emotions Fear Travel