Subject: Age » Old (Page 10)

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women

Did you ever look in a mirror and wonder how your pantyhose got so wrinkled… and then remember you weren’t wearing any?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Old

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Age Old

No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year.

(106 BC – 43 BC) Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator & political consul
Age Old

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old Sex

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

I’m like old wine; they don't bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.

(1890 – 1995) American philanthropist & wife of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.
Age Old

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Age Education Exaggerations Old School

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Appearance Body Old

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Intelligence Memory Old

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture
Age Old

I'm in a restaurant one time, we go to the men's room – my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, 'Hey, this gum has got no flavor.'

American comedian & actor
Age Old

The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.

Age Old Proverbs

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Life Old

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes