Subject: Age » Old (Page 13)

My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Age Health Old

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

(1887 – 1948) American journalist & humorist
Age Communication Old

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture
Age Old

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger; my first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Dogs Old

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Old Young

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Friends Old People

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

The older I get, the better I used to be.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Age Golf Old Sports

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age Characteristics Honesty Lies Old Young

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Age Government Insults Old