Subject: Age » Old (Page 14)

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

If you want to be adored by your peers and have standing ovations wherever you go – live to be over ninety.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director
Age Old

Age is a function of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Beliefs Old

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going; I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Age Intelligence Old Wisdom

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Children Friends Old People

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People

Oh, to be seventy again.

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist
Age Old

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Age Old

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Wisdom

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

Old age is no place for sissies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Age Characteristics Old

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

You're never too old to become younger.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Old

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Family Old Parents Places

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things