Subject: Age » Old (Page 7)

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

People with money live so damn long.

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I don’t know why my elderly neighbor bothers subscribing to newspapers if he’s just going to let them pile up outside his house.

comedian

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

At my age, patience is not a virtue… it’s a luxury.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

I still feel 30, except when I try to run.

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author