Subject: Age » Old (Page 7)

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

If you want to be adored by your peers and have standing ovations wherever you go – live to be over ninety.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director
Age Old

When I was a boy, I thought myself a man; now that I am a man, I find myself a boy.

(1773 – 11829) English genius & polymath
Age Old Young

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

Age Old

Anyone can get old; all you have to do is live long enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Old

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Life Old

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Health Old Things

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Death Life Old Young

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old Sex

I feel I can talk with more authority, especially when I say, ‘I don’t know.’

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Age Old

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old