Subject: Age » Old (Page 7)

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Age Book Titles Old

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Characteristics Old

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Age Children Family Old

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

Children Communication Family Murphy’s Laws Old Speech

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.

Age Old Situations

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.

(1899 – 1987) American dancer, choreographer, singer, musician & actor
Age Old

Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Old

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

I knew her before she was a virgin.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Old

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Age Appearance Body Old

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old