Subject: Age » Old (Page 9)

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

I'm in a restaurant one time, we go to the men's room – my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, 'Hey, this gum has got no flavor.'

American comedian & actor
Age Old

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

(1970 – ) American film & television actress
Age Dating Old Relationships Young

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Children Family Old

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

(1887 – 1948) American journalist & humorist
Age Communication Old

I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1907 - 1990) American theatrical producer
Age Old Time

Ask anybody over 30 – if they tell you they have more than 10 friends, you know they’re counting co-workers.

American comedian & television host
Age Friends Old People

Oh, to be seventy again.

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist
Age Old

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
Age Old

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Health Old Relationships

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Intelligence Memory Old

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

When I was a boy, I thought myself a man; now that I am a man, I find myself a boy.

(1773 – 11829) English genius & polymath
Age Old Young

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Malaprops Old

I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Old