Subject: Age (Page 10)

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have remembrances of what never happened.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Age Old Young

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

American cartoonist, illustrator & writer
Age

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Age Old

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

Pushing forty? … she's hanging on for dear life.

(1884 – 1969) English novelist
Age Insults

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1907 - 1990) American theatrical producer
Age Old Time

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Age Exaggerations Old

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Age TV/Movie Quotes

He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Age Colemanballs Misspokements

When you’re in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they’re nice about it… they’re like, ‘Hey man, you look good!' … but when you’re in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, ‘You doin’ all right?'

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Age Old

When I was young, the old regarded me as an outrageous young fellow and now that I’m old the young regard me as an outrageous old fellow.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Age Old

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body