Subject: Age (Page 11)

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Emotions Money Old

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving… he said it was elevator practice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Things Young

The gods bestowed on Max [Beerbohm] the gift of perpetual old age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Insults Old

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Clothing Old

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Age Government People

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

Senility: The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we’ve forgotten.

Age Definitions Intelligence Memory Old

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Malaprops Old

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Fat

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Old People

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

She may very well pass for forty three… in the dusk with the light behind her.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Age Insults

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.

Age Definitions

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Age Colemanballs Misspokements

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

I know she's a bit touchy about her age – even though it's not the first time she's turned 40.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Age TV/Movie Quotes