Subject: Age (Page 13)

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

You are 32, you are rapidly approaching the age when your body, whether it embarrasses you or not, begins to embarrass other people.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age Appearance Body

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

I can tell a woman’s age in half a minute — and I do!

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Age People Women

I believe in loyalty… when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

(1919 – 1995) Hungarian-born American socialite & actress
Age Old People Women

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Age Definitions

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Age Old

Did you ever look in a mirror and wonder how your pantyhose got so wrinkled… and then remember you weren’t wearing any?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Old

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.

(1888 – 1972) French actor, singer & entertainer
Age

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Age Old

The hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age People Self Time

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Activities Age Old

Senility: A cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed.

Age Definitions Old

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

The young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Young

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian
Age Intelligence Memory Old