Subject: Age (Page 14)

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Age Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Old

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age Characteristics Young

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

It was tough growing up in Florida because all my friends were retired.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Age Friends Old People Places Young

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


Age Hockey Sports

What can you say when your husband says: “You can’t expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older.”

Age Old

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Ask any woman her age, and nine times out of ten she’ll guess wrong.

comedian
Age People Women

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Age Old

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

(1922 – 1973) Israeli teacher & child psychologist
Age Family Parents

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

There never was a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Children Family Situations Sleep

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Malaprops Old

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

We were a generation born too late to eat goldfish and too early to flash.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Age Life