Subject: Age (Page 15)

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

(1970 – ) American film & television actress
Age Dating Old Relationships Young

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex; then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

(1958 – ) Australian author
Age Sex

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving… he said it was elevator practice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Things Young

Life not only begins at forty – it begins to show.

Age

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Fat

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Age Old

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re told to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

American cartoonist, illustrator & writer
Age

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Age Golf Old Sports

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Friends People Young

I can tell I’m getting old because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library.

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
Age Books Old Reading/Writing

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Fat Self

I got my start in silent radio.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Old

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives