Subject: Age (Page 16)

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

He's as old as some trees.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Age Hockey Old Sports

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

I can tell a woman’s age in half a minute — and I do!

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Age People Women

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Age Definitions Wives

If youth but had the knowledge and old age the strength.

Age Proverbs Young

Middle age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Age

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions Old

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Health

No one becomes forty without incredulity and a sense of outrage.

(1886 – 1962) English writer
Age Old

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Age Children Family Old

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older; what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much.


Age Intelligence Mind Old

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing.

(1949 – ) American federal judge
Age Old

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian
Age Young