Subject: Age (Page 18)

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Age Exercise

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Friends Misspokements People

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old Sex

We've had bad luck with our kids… they've all grown up.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Age Children People

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions – because they know all the answers.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Age Intelligence

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author
Age Old

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Age Appearance Old

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

When I was young, the old regarded me as an outrageous young fellow and now that I’m old the young regard me as an outrageous old fellow.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Age Old

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Death Life Old Young

I don’t know why my elderly neighbor bothers subscribing to newspapers if he’s just going to let them pile up outside his house.

comedian
Age Old

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education Sex Young

The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Age Old Sex

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old