Subject: Age (Page 18)

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

Age Ideas

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Life Old

There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

(1903 – 1998) American pediatrician & author
Age Children Family Health Mothers

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

The Houston Astros are the youngest team in the National League if you judge by age.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Age Baseball Misspokements Sports

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Age Definitions Wives

When I broke in, they didn’t have bats – we just grabbed the branch of a tree.

American baseball pitcher
Age Baseball Sports

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Age Football Old Sports

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year.

(106 BC – 43 BC) Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator & political consul
Age Old

Senescence begins and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Age Old

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Death Life Old Young

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Age Young

I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1907 - 1990) American theatrical producer
Age Old Time

I am not young enough to know everything.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Age Education Intelligence Young

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Age Old Young

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

Age Murphy’s Laws