Subject: Age (Page 19)

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Friends Old People

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate’ … for me that would be a shroud.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Clothing

When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Friends People Situations Young

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

Puberty: The awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.

Age Definitions

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Future Time

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Fat

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Age Characteristics Old

Senescence begins and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Age Old

The gods bestowed on Max [Beerbohm] the gift of perpetual old age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Insults Old

So I was jealous of her [her sister] when she was fourteen and I was nineteen. I’m sure it’ll be different now that we’re both thirty-five.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age TV/Movie Quotes

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

Children Communication Family Murphy’s Laws Old Speech

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Parents Places Young

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Reading/Writing