Subject: Age (Page 20)

Anyone can get old; all you have to do is live long enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Old

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS… my favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Age Old People

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

My wife and I are discussing whether we’re going to spank our child or not; I say wait ’til she does something wrong.

American comedian
Children Family Old

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell.

(1925 – ) English writer & editor
Age Young

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face; my advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Age Appearance Women

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Age Colemanballs Misspokements

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Age Animals Dogs Friends People Relationships

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Age Health Old

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old