Subject: Age (Page 21)

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

American cartoonist, illustrator & writer
Age

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Age Old

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Age Old

If you eat one apple a day for 80 years, you won't die young.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Age Death Food/Drink Health

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions – because they know all the answers.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Age Intelligence

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Activities Age Old

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

The hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age People Self Time

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Age Life

20 to 40 is the fillet steak of life; after that it’s all short cuts.

(1922 – 1985) English poet & novelist
Age

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

Everyone I like stays the hell away from me.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Friends People

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Success

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

Regardless of their age, most folks are not as old as they hope to be.

Age Old

My grandad has a chair in his shower which makes him feel old, so in order to feel young he sits on it backwards like a cool teacher giving an assembly about drugs.

(1991 – ) English stand-up comedian
Age Family Old

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Age Communication Reading/Writing