Subject: Age (Page 24)

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Health

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

It was tough growing up in Florida because all my friends were retired.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Age Friends Old People Places Young

Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

Age Murphy’s Laws

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Malaprops Old

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Age Animals Dogs Friends People Relationships

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Age Definitions Wives

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Age Communication Reading/Writing

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Failure Family Murphy’s Laws Parents Problems Young

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting Age Entertainment Success

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Marriage

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster
Age Baseball Old Sports

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Old Young

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old