Subject: Age (Page 24)

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist
Age Old Sex

I don’t think my family liked me… they put a live teddy bear in my crib.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Family Self Young

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Parents Places Young

A sexagenarian? At his age? I think that’s disgusting!

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Age Misspokements Old Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My grandad has a chair in his shower which makes him feel old, so in order to feel young he sits on it backwards like a cool teacher giving an assembly about drugs.

(1991 – ) English stand-up comedian
Age Family Old

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Old

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Age Children Old People

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

Class Reunion: A gathering where you come to the conclusion that most of the people your own age are a lot older than you are.

Age Definitions

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Young

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age People Understanding

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher
Age Intelligence

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

(1900 – 1993) American actress
Age Death

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger" … every picture of you is of when you were younger.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Age Young

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People