Subject: Age (Page 26)

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Time Young

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

writer, website creator
Friends Old People

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Age Book Titles Old

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Old Young

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for broads to care.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Age Young

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? … asking for myself.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Age Drugs

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Age Old People Women

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age Characteristics Young

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Health People

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Activities Age Animals Children Young

At my age, patience is not a virtue… it’s a luxury.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Age Characteristics Old

My secret to staying young… having no sense of time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Time Young

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Young

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Life Old

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old