Subject: Age (Page 27)

If you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but, if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Old Situations Young

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Age Old

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Facts Old Young

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old… unfortunately there’s never one around.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Age Old

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist
Age Young

I'm in a restaurant one time, we go to the men's room – my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, 'Hey, this gum has got no flavor.'

American comedian & actor
Age Old

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

People with money live so damn long.

Age Life Murphy’s Laws Old

He's as old as some trees.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Age Hockey Old Sports

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Activities Age Old

The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it may go on too long.

(1906 – 1990) British historian
Age Old

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Age Definitions Wives

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

(1922 – 1973) Israeli teacher & child psychologist
Age Family Parents

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery

writer
Age

That dame is older than the Continental Shelf!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes