Subject: Age (Page 28)

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

Nostalgia is heroin for old people.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Age Old

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Age Old

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Young

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age Education

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Age Old Success Young

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist
Age Insults Old

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Activities Age Animals Children Young

Eighty is a wonderful age… especially if you’re ninety.

(1900 – 1973) American journalist & editor
Age Old