Subject: Age (Page 28)

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

(1931 – 1995) American baseball player

Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs… it’s expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

People with money live so damn long.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher

Adolescence is that period in a kid’s life when parents become more difficult.

(1941 – ) American actor

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.