Subject: Age (Page 3)

Most people my age are dead at the present time.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Death Life Misspokements Old People Time

After 60, it's just patch, patch, patch.

(1913 – 1990) American actress
Age Old

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Jewelry takes people's minds off your wrinkles.

(1912 – 1969) Norwegian figure skater & actress
Age Appearance Old Things

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Work

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Age Children Emotions

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer
Age Appearance Body People

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Appearance Body Old

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Body Old

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Age Money Young

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Age Appearance Body

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Friends People Self

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Age Exaggerations Old

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re told to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping