Subject: Age (Page 4)

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher
Age Intelligence

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

Age Communication Old

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian
Age Life

You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Girlfriends Sex Young

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist
Age Old Sex

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old People

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Age

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

There never was a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Children Family Situations Sleep

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Life

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family Mothers Old

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

I am just turning forty and taking my time about it.

(1893 – 1971) American film actor & producer
Age

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

That’s one you can tell your grandchildren about – tomorrow.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Health Memory Old

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old