Subject: Age (Page 5)

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author
Age Old

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

Geriatricide joint

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Malaprops Old

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got shit to do the next day.

American comedian
Age Old People Sex Women

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Age Health Old

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going; I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

Friends Money People Young

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


Age Hockey Sports

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age People Women

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Age TV/Movie Quotes

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Activities Age Health Time

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Young