Subject: Age (Page 7)

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

You want a friend in Washington?… get a dog.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

After the age of 80, you seem to be having breakfast every day.

(1907 – 2005) was an English poet & playwright

Tommy John is so old, he uses Absorbine Senior.

(1952 – ) American sportscaster

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Senescence begins and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

I refuse to admit I'm more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

So I was jealous of her [her sister] when she was fourteen and I was nineteen. I’m sure it’ll be different now that we’re both thirty-five.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager