Subject: Age (Page 8)

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Age Old

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


Age Hockey Sports

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old Situations Work

My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20s; he’s 29, I’m 34.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Age People Self

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

Pushing fifty is exercise enough


Activities Age Exercise Wordplay

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Emotions Sex

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Age Characteristics Reading/Writing

It was tough growing up in Florida because all my friends were retired.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Age Friends Old People Places Young

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Age Old

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Age Animals Dogs Friends People Relationships