Subject: Age (Page 8)

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Age Old

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

My wife and I are discussing whether we’re going to spank our child or not; I say wait ’til she does something wrong.

American comedian
Children Family Old

When we’re young, we want to change the world… when we’re old, we want to change the young.

book publisher
Age Old

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

Friends Money People Young

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Age Appearance Body Old

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else… and usually is.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Age People

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian
Age Life

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Appearance Clothing Young

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Friends People Situations Young

I know we were buddies because he threatened to kill me on no fewer than three occasions, and he did that only to his friends.

(1935) British film director, producer & food critic
Conflict Friends People Young