Subject: Age (Page 9)

I just need to make it to 34 and I’ve beaten Jesus at living.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Age

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Age Murphy’s Laws

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Emotions Sex

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian
Age Old

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Age Friends People

I'm 34 years old; I thought I'd be divorced by now.

American comedian
Age Divorce Marriage

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Things

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Old Young

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Old

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery

writer
Age

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Fat Self

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Marriage

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

Old age is no place for sissies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Age Characteristics Old

The comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Old

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young