Subject: Animals » Cats

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Animals Cats Definitions

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals Cats

How are you supposed to be able to tell when cat food has gone bad?

(1964 – ) American
Animals Cats

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws Sleep

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

My Big Book of Pretty Pussies

Animals Book Titles Cats

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic
Animals Cats Insults Music

We’ve a cat called Ben Hur; we called it Ben till it had kittens.


Animals Cats

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction – and a cat; the last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.


Animals Cats

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Book Titles Cats

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat.

(1952 – ) comedian
Animals Cats Dating Relationships

A cat walking into a room containing twelve seated people will jump into the lap of the person who hates cats the most.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Cats Conflict Fights

Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Animals Cats

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs Relationships

How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Animals Cats TV/Movie Quotes

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Cats

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Cats People Women

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Cats Dogs