Subject: Animals » Cats

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James
Animals Cats Dogs

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Cats People Women

My Big Book of Pretty Pussies

Animals Book Titles Cats

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs Relationships

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

Animals Cats Dogs Proverbs

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.

(1893 – 1970) American writer, critic & naturalist
Animals Cats

It was raining cats and dogs, and I fell in a poodle.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats

All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs People

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Animals Cats Definitions

You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that.

American comedian & television host
Animals Cats Sex

How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Animals Cats TV/Movie Quotes

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.


Animals Cats

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Book Titles Cats

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction – and a cat; the last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.


Animals Cats

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Cats