Subject: Animals » Dogs (Page 2)

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

My dog’s favorite bone is in my arm!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

If you want to cure your dog’s bad breath, just pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Animals Dogs

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Dogs Friends Money People Wives

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Situations

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Animals Dogs

I love my hunting dog… well I loved my hunting dog… I'm not very good at hunting.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Activities Animals Dogs

You might be a redneck if… your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

(1926 – 1998) American country comedian
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day… I make sure it’s with an elderly person holding a baby.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Situations

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Animals Communication Dogs Speech

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Animals Children Dogs People

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Animals Characteristics Dogs Opinion

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals Dogs Ideas Intelligence

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

I don't have to walk my dog anymore… I walked him all at once.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs