Subject: Animals » Dogs (Page 2)

My dog’s favorite bone is in my arm!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Animals Dogs

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian
Animals Dogs Self

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Autos Dogs Things

You might be a redneck if… you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Animals Characteristics Dogs Opinion

… that indefatigable and unsavory engine of pollution

(1906 – 1992) English academic, barrister & book-collector
Animals Dogs

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs People Self

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.

Animals Dogs Money Wealth

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Cats Dogs

My parents had to tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Family Parents

Don't get mixed up between Pavlov and Pavlova, or you'll have salivating ballerinas and pirouetting dogs.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Animals Dogs

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger; my first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Dogs Old

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Animals Dogs

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

(1849 – 1912) Swedish writer
Animals Dogs Emotions

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

(1803 – 1885) French writer & journalist
Animals Dogs People

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

Animals Cats Dogs Proverbs

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks