Subject: Animals (Page 10)

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.

(1783 – 1859) American author, essayist, biographer & historian
Animals Dogs

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Cats People Women

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals Dogs Ideas Intelligence

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Animals Cats

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Appearance Cats Clothing

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

(1932 – 1997) British journalist
Animals Situations

FOUND – Gay dog – was crossing Dundas St. on Saturday, July 14th… won’t stop humping my dog! Please come get ‘em. Call 778-….

Animals Dogs Signs

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Activities Animals

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Dogs

'You scratch my back, and I'll suck blood out of yours' – that is the insect motto.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

(1892 – 1942) American painter
Animals Ideas Intelligence Situations

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Conflict

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Government Law Lawyers People

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Animals

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Animals Relationships