Subject: Animals (Page 12)

Man is the only animal that plays poker.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Animals People

The great thing about racehorses is you don’t need to take them for walks.

(1936 – ) English actor
Animals

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

professional baseball player
Animals Cold Science/Weather

Yesterday I was a dog… today I’m a dog… tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Animals Dogs

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Cats Dogs

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Health

When walking a dog, be sure then animal is smaller than you.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws

Impeccable Birdfeeding: How to Discourage Scuffling, Hull-dropping, Seed-throwing, Unmentionable Nuisances and Vulgar Chatter at Your Birdfeeder

Animals Book Titles

Snake eyes is a gambling term… and an animal term, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Animals Games

I've seen insects walking around with kneepads.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals Exaggerations Places

Games You Can Play With Your Pussy

Book Titles Cats

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James
Animals Cats Dogs

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dogs Relationships

Cat bathing is a martial art.

Animals Cats

Never ride a burning camel.

Animals Proverbs

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up… I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Things

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

Animals Cats

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; this is the principal difference between dog and man.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Characteristics Dogs People