Subject: Animals (Page 12)

My Big Book of Pretty Pussies

Animals Book Titles Cats

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

professional baseball player
Animals Cold Science/Weather

Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows

Animals Headlines

Did you know a bird is the only animal that you can throw and you’d be helping it?

Comedian
Animals

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Animals Communication Dogs Speech

Moose with calf injures woman near Grand Lake and both are put down by wildlife officials. Agree with the policy?

Animals Headlines

Chicken: An egg's way of making more eggs.

Animals

Don't get mixed up between Pavlov and Pavlova, or you'll have salivating ballerinas and pirouetting dogs.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Animals Dogs

We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.

Animals Malaprops

You can’t lose a homing pigeon; if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

(1981 – ) English writer, stand-up comedian & actress
Animals

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig; you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Animals Situations

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs People Self

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Animals People

I’m disappointed with every movie about sharks that closes with “The End” instead of “Fin.”

Animals Entertainment Film

Get a good dog; we have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs

But… You’re a Horse

Animals Book Titles

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Animals

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Science/Weather

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Children Eating People