Subject: Animals (Page 20)

Life is like a dogsled team; if you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Animals Dogs Life

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Animals Dogs Life Situations

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day… I make sure it’s with an elderly person holding a baby.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Situations

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.

(1893 – 1970) American writer, critic & naturalist
Animals Cats

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem; there’s a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Cats

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Intelligence Wisdom

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

Free Puppies: part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

Animals Classifieds Dogs

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Situations

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong… [they] know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Animals

How come dogs hate it if you blow in their faces; but when they get in the car, they stick their heads out the window.

(1952 – ) comedian
Animals Dogs

When insects take over the world, we hope they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Animals

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things