Subject: Animals (Page 21)

At the zoo I like to watch the polo bears.

Animals Malaprops

A bird in the hand is dead.

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Animals Government Politics

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Communication Conversation Speech

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Animals Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Communication

Bear Eats Fruit, Takes Stuffed Bear From NH House

Animals Headlines

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals

There are rules about riding a horse, but the horse won’t necessarily know them.

Animals

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

A zebra cannot change its spots.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Animals Malaprops

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Animals Marriage

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Animals Dogs TV/Movie Quotes

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Activities Animals Food/Drink

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Work

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions Love

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money