Subject: Animals (Page 4)

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Animals

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Government Law Lawyers People

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child; we can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Children Dogs Family

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Animals Death Dogs Marriage

Smart as a tree full of owls.

Animals Expressions Intelligence Wisdom

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

My favorite animal is steak.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Food/Drink

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.


Animals Things

When walking a dog, be sure then animal is smaller than you.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws

People on horses look better than they are; people in cars look worse than they are.

(1904 – 1990) American author & critic
Animals Appearance Autos Things

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Animals People

If you give a person a fish, they’ll fish for a day; but if you train a person to fish, they’ll fish for a lifetime.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Animals Misspokements

The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.

Attorney & entrepreneur
Animals

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Dogs are forever in the push-up position.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs

A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

(1906 – 1988) Greek-British designer of cars
Animals

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Animals

As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax… you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients, " but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."

Animals Doctors Health

I wanna put stickers on turtles… I don’t know why.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money