Subject: Animals (Page 6)

Dachshund: An animal half a dog high by a dog and a half long.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals Definitions Dogs

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes; now how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God

But… You’re a Horse

Animals Book Titles

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James
Animals Cats Dogs

It was all the wolf could do to keep us away from his door.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Money Poverty

People on horses look better than they are; people in cars look worse than they are.

(1904 – 1990) American author & critic
Animals Appearance Autos Things

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Sports

You may have a dog that won’t sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she’s too stupid to learn how but because she’s too smart to bother.

Animals Dogs

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Animals Family Parents

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws Sleep

All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Dogs

These days it’s hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Animals Dogs

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.

(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Animals Characteristics Dogs Insults

I wanna put stickers on turtles… I don’t know why.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Animals Dogs

I love my hunting dog… well I loved my hunting dog… I'm not very good at hunting.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Activities Animals Dogs

You can put a coat and tie on a goat, and it’s still a goat.

Animals Appearance Proverbs