Subject: Animals (Page 6)

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? … it’s hardly ever for them.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Animals Dogs

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Animals Government Politics

The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.

Attorney & entrepreneur
Animals

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Dogs Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

(1926 – 1998) American country comedian
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

I wanna put stickers on turtles… I don’t know why.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher
Age Animals Young

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

Nature abhors a vacuum… but not as much as cats do.

Animals Cats

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Animals Dogs TV/Movie Quotes

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

Chicken: An egg's way of making more eggs.

Animals

Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Activities Animals Sports

Black beauty – he's a dark horse.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Animals

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Animals Men People Situations Time

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Animals Insults

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Animals Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up… I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Things

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs

I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Situations

Otter Devastation

Animals Headlines