Subject: Appearance

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self

I’m actually really intelligent; and I’m blonde, which is like… the trifecta.

comedian
Appearance Intelligence

Beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Appearance Body Definitions

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Clothing Conflict Government Military War

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones; not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

(1966 – ) American actor, comedian, screenwriter & film producer
Appearance Clothing

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Clothing Money People Women

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Clothing Housework

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Fat Government Politics

It's high time the press finally got one thing right about me.

(1954 – ) American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Communication

My girlfriend told me I had the body of a Greek god and I said you don’t know sh*t about Greek mythology.

(1976 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look… twins!"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Doctors

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Clothing Old

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Hair

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Appearance Body Science/Weather

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Insults

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)
Appearance Body Fat People Places Self World