Subject: Appearance » Body

If I want to wear my tits on my back, that’s my business!

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Appearance Body Self

Women, that butterfly [tattoo] looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

(1869 – 1945) American actor
Appearance Body

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Body Sex Women

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

Bagpipes covered in hair.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Appearance Body Food/Drink

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds… I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Exercise Fat

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday; I'm not even sick – it's just that I've been working out, and I want someone to see me naked.

American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Appearance Body Fat

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

She is so fat… she can't even jump to conclusions.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Appearance Body People Self

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat