Subject: Appearance » Body

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Appearance Body

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

Man that guy is ripped! I mean, I've got the washboard stomach, too. It's just that mine has about two months of laundry on top of it.

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others; he gave me one with four cavities.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Health

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says “Forever.”

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Appearance Body Insults

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Pizza is like a lady’s breasts: there’s good pizza… and there’s great pizza; but there isn’t bad pizza.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Women

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Body Food/Drink

My bottom is so big, it’s got its own gravitational field.

(1960 – ) British media personality
Appearance Body

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Appearance Body Clothing Women

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat