Subject: Appearance » Body

I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool; I didn’t want to go, because I’ve put on like a hundred pounds.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Situations

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

Does this sign make my butt look fat?

Appearance Body Fat

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Body Intelligence Sports

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

My arms register as legs. And my legs register as firewood.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Appearance Body

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I’ve lost seven pounds this week… or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.

British comedian & emcee
Appearance Body

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Body Men Speech

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Money

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

Blondes make the best victims; they're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Appearance Body Entertainment Film

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)
Appearance Body Fat People Places Self World

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan… I stroke.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

My trademarks are a hoarse, grating voice and the face of a retired pugilist: small narrowed eyes set in puffy features which look as though they might, years ago, have lost on points.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Appearance Body People Self

They don't make 'em too big for this business.

(1928 – ) American stripper, burlesque star & actress
Appearance Body Entertainment