Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 10)

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer
Body Dance Entertainment

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.

Body Definitions

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Money

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Appearance Body Characteristics

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body… like a Peanuts character.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Appearance Body People Self

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Appearance Body Characteristics

A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body People

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

Anyone might become homosexual after seeing Glenda Jackson naked.

(1939 – 2001) British author & journalist
Appearance Body Insults

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

My school colors were clear; we used to say, “I’m not naked, I’m in the band.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Clothing

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

I don’t care if you think I’m racist… I just want you to think I’m thin.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Appearance Body

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Age Appearance Body