Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 11)

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Definitions

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

I told my wife that there was a chance that radiation might hurt my reproductive organs, but she said in her opinion it’s a small price to pay.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body

Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Body

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body

I’m the female equivalent of a counterfeit $20 bill; half of what you see is a pretty good reproduction, the rest is a fraud.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Appearance Body People Self

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Health

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat

My girlfriend told me I had the body of a Greek god and I said you don’t know sh*t about Greek mythology.

(1976 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer
Age Appearance Body Women

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Appearance Body Insults Mind

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self Ugly

It's hard having a big nose… all my pullover shirts have stretch marks.

comedian
Appearance Body

It's easy to distract fat people; it's a piece of cake.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

That woman's had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.

Appearance Body

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body