Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 11)

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Appearance Body Situations

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Communication Language

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

If she wasn’t so skinny, she’d be considered thin.

(1897 – 1960) Russian-born American film director, actor & producer
Appearance Body

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities Appearance Body Drugs Eating Fat

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat Insults

I actually thought about getting breast implants because I'm a radical, militant feminist and a hypocrite, it turns out.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Characteristics

You'll always feel good about your body when you go there – no matter what your body is – because there's always someone there who weighs 350 pounds more than you'll ever weigh.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Appearance Body Fat

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self