Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 13)

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

Buster Douglas went to bed as a 231-pound world champion and woke up as a 270-pound parade float.

American sports columnist
Appearance Body Boxing Fat Sports

Pizza is like a lady’s breasts: there’s good pizza… and there’s great pizza; but there isn’t bad pizza.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Women

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Appearance Body Characteristics Fat

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Body Exercise Fat

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people in the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Appearance Body Fear

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

I reckoned if my boobs got any lower I would have to buy them their own pair of shoes.

(1959 – ) British novelist
Activities Appearance Body

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye – and dragged it fifteen feet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Places Situations

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Old

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies – 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Men People