Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 17)

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

All the men in my family are bald, and all the women are hunchbacked – and they don’t know we’re bald.

comedian
Appearance Body Family Fathers

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says “Forever.”

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body

He had one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Appearance Body

Bagpipes covered in hair.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

Newman: I’m a little offended, Jerry.

Jerry: You’re not a little anything, Newman.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.

Appearance Body Definitions

She had a face lift, tummy lift, and buttock lift, and now she's two feet off the ground.

comedian
Appearance Body

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Age Appearance Body

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't; so I grew hair under my arms instead.

stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Communication Hair Speech

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Body Health Relationships

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Body Food/Drink

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Appearance Body

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Self

I just accept them as a great accessory to every outfit.

(1979 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing