Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 2)

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer
Age Appearance Body People

You might be a redneck if… you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body People Rednecks

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Intelligence

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

If she wasn’t so skinny, she’d be considered thin.

(1897 – 1960) Russian-born American film director, actor & producer
Appearance Body

He's a disappointed narcissist.

(1949 – ) English actor, writer & theater director
Appearance Body Insults

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Appearance Body Characteristics

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

Abdomen: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Appearance Body Eating

I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool; I didn’t want to go, because I’ve put on like a hundred pounds.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Situations

I actually thought about getting breast implants because I'm a radical, militant feminist and a hypocrite, it turns out.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Characteristics

It's hard having a big nose… all my pullover shirts have stretch marks.

comedian
Appearance Body

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Things

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Body Exercise Fat

I told my wife that there was a chance that radiation might hurt my reproductive organs, but she said in her opinion it’s a small price to pay.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body

She’s like a phenomenon of nature, like Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon; you can’t talk to it, it can’t talk to you, all you can do is stand back and be awed by it.

(1897 – 1977) American filmwriter, producer & director
Appearance Body