Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 2)

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

There are two reasons why I’m in show business, and I’m standing on both of them.

(1916 – 1973) American actress, dancer, singer & pin-up girl
Appearance Body Entertainment

The best cure for hypochondria is to forget about your body and get interested in someone else's.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Appearance Body Health

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success

I've seen a topless lady ventriloquist… nobody has ever seen her lips move!

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Appearance Body Entertainment

A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence… it protects the property without obstructing the view.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Appearance Body Clothing

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

She is so fat… she can't even jump to conclusions.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities Appearance Body Drugs Eating Fat

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Intelligence

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Signs

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it; I said, ‘Thyroid problems?’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Clothing

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer
Age Appearance Body People

I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "F**k that… I'll just get a tan instead.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

Kiss and make up – but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old