Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 22)

Thirty ways to shape up for summer — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? … I’m so hungry right now.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Exercise

I told my wife that there was a chance that radiation might hurt my reproductive organs, but she said in her opinion it’s a small price to pay.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Hair Ugly

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Appearance Beer Body Men

I have a million dollar figure… buts it’s all loose change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

He's had so many face-lifts, his face has moved to the top of his head, you have to get on a step-ladder to watch him lie!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Insults

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body Mind People

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

She was known as a two bagger; that’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

If she wasn’t so skinny, she’d be considered thin.

(1897 – 1960) Russian-born American film director, actor & producer
Appearance Body

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Appearance Body Characteristics

Smoking cures weight problems… eventually.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Body Characteristics Death Fat

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Appearance Body

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly