Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 5)

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer
Age Appearance Body People

All the men in my family are bald, and all the women are hunchbacked – and they don’t know we’re bald.

comedian
Appearance Body Family Fathers

If she wasn’t so skinny, she’d be considered thin.

(1897 – 1960) Russian-born American film director, actor & producer
Appearance Body

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye – and dragged it fifteen feet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Places Situations

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer
Age Appearance Body Women

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called ‘the flu.’

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Appearance Body Health

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed… it wasn’t the kind that folds.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Things

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Appearance Body

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

I've seen a topless lady ventriloquist… nobody has ever seen her lips move!

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Appearance Body Entertainment

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Body Health Relationships