Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 6)

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Girls Women

Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?… a small part of me says yes.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I’m going to nip, tuck it, and suck it.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

I have a million dollar figure… buts it’s all loose change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Appearance Body Places

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old