Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 7)

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress

My school colors were clear; we used to say, “I’m not naked, I’m in the band.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

You know you're getting fat when you go to unbutton the top of your pants – and you already did it.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies – 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

That's like the Queen Mary losing a deck chair.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach

A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

There are two reasons why I’m in show business, and I’m standing on both of them.

(1916 – 1973) American actress, dancer, singer & pin-up girl

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.