Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 7)

My wife is Hawaiian; well… no she’s not, but she’s shaped like a pineapple.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Wives

I got a book for my birthday “How to make it big.” I had to take it back, it was about money

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

If you told her to haul butt, she would have to make two trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Body Fat Insults

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

Do I lift weights? … Sure, every time I stand up.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Activities Appearance Body

I really don’t think I need buns of steel; I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Appearance Body

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Things

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Activities Body

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Appearance Body Definitions

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Dating Relationships

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body. I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Fat