Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 8)

Al, why don't you get a haircut?

(1897 – 1961) American actress
Appearance Body Hair

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I’m going to nip, tuck it, and suck it.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Clothing

You would think with all the money she saves on food she could buy a dress.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.


Appearance Body Clothing

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Money

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat

If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body

Body odor is nature’s alarm clock and a lot of people from my home town are hitting the snooze alarm.

American comedian
Appearance Body People

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

I'm in terrible shape… I need a nap after I fart.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Body

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat