Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 9)

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

My husband said ‘Show me your boobs.’ and I had to pull up my skirt… so it was time to get them done!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit-of-The-Loom guys laughing at me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it; I said, ‘Thyroid problems?’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Clothing

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer
Body Dance Entertainment

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Appearance Body

He (Jimmie Foxx) has muscles in his hair.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Appearance Body

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer
Appearance Body Clothing Women

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body

My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Acting Appearance Body Entertainment

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Marriage Wives