Subject: Appearance » Clothing

I’ve got a shirt for every day of the week… it’s blue.

American humorist & public speaker
Appearance Clothing

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

When packing for a vacation, take half as much clothing and twice as much money.

Clothing Money Murphy’s Laws

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

(1895 – 1960) American politician
Appearance Clothing Insults

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

Do you guys think it’s worse to wear a Fedora or kill 15 people?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Appearance Clothing

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Bernadette: Yeah, it’s your third date, maybe you could go more sexy.
Amy: Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

(1985 – ) American actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

There are two times in a woman’s life when clothes are important: when she is young and when she is old.

writer
Appearance Clothing People Women

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Appearance Clothing

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements Time

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Clothing

If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance Clothing